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I'm now selling my photos!!!

I now host galleries of my favorite photos @ www.lloydshell.zenfolio.com Feel free to surf over there to see photo's that may have drifted into the darkest reaches of the archives here on Blogspot.

I also have begun selling my photographs when requested, I can handle most sizes and finishes either locally or via my on-line printing service.

Thanks for looking!

Lloyd
lloydshell@gmail.com

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Funny of the Day from DPReview

Click Me for the Thread on DPReview.


BACKGROUND

LBA or "Lens-Buying Addiction" is a disease which affects the conscious thought processes of its victims. Certain segments of the population are at a much greater risk of begin infected. Specifically, infection rate is dramatically higher for people who own DSLR cameras, with Pentax owners being particularly susceptible. This is a threat that photographers must live with on a day-to-day basis, but there are certain steps which may be taken to mitigate the danger of contracting the disease. LBA is now classified as a pandemic, and is estimated to effect more than 14 million people worldwide. Genetic research has determined that LBA originated in central Europe near the time of the first World War, and samples of the earliest known strain of LBA have been isolated from the remains of Oskar Barnack, inventor of the 35mm film camera.

The term "LBA" is attributed to Lance Blackburn, and was first coined in the DPReview Pentax DSLR forum in November 2004. It has since been validated by an official Pentax advertising campaign. The original acronym referred to "Lens Buyers Anonymous", which is a support group for people with this disease.

TRANSMISSION

The LBA virus is one of the few known human pathogens with the ability to spread via the internet. It may also be transmitted through more conventional pathways, including physical contact and airborne transmission.

SYMPTOMS

Early stages:

  • excessive online surfing of photography web sites and forums

  • salivation when presented with certain stimuli such as any contact with un-owned lenses (with increased susceptibility to lenses with long focal length, wide aperture, high MTF, good bokeh, or any combination of these factors)

Middle stages:

  • periods of memory lapse followed by inexplicable presence in a camera store

  • steadily increasing camera-bag size and weight, with a corresponding lightening of the wallet

  • hiding of receipts from recent lens purchases

Late stages:

  • more time spent packing camera equipment than clothes when going on a trip

  • the total inability to use zoom lenses, resulting in the repeated need to interchange prime lenses during photography

DIAGNOSIS

Often cases of LBA go undiagnosed. In controlled tests it was found that subjects infected with LBA will attempt to justify their lens purchases instead of recognizing the symptoms of LBA in themselves. The associated denial may induce behaviour which masks the symptoms of the disease. For this reason, it is advisable to seek immediate medical attention for any friend or loved one suspected of having contracted LBA.

TIPS FOR AVOIDING THE SPREAD OF LBA

  • avoid close contact with anyone owning a large lens collection

  • sterilize wallets to remove credit cards and any excess cash before entering a camera store

  • always use protection when mounting other lenses on your equipment

  • abstinence, whenever possible, is the preferred option

  • avoid viewing online pictures from lenses you do not own

  • avoid reading new lens reviews, either online or in photography magazines

  • stay home to avoid infecting others when you feel the urge to buy a new lens

  • cover your mouth to stop the spread of lens sale price quotes

  • avoid handling other camera owner's equipment (hand sanitizers are ineffective in preventing the spread of this disease)

  • in case of an epidemic, victims should be quarantined to keep them isolated from uninfected camera owners

TREATMENT

There is no known cure for LBA. However, the most reliable treatment for alleviating the major symptoms is a depletion of the funds available for new lens purchases. The accepted most-effective method for accomplishing this is through the acquisition of a spouse and/or additional children, although some studies indicate this treatment may result in side-effects which are more severe than the disease itself.

6 comments:

Frieda said...

I'm sure you have LBA. You fit most of the symptoms!! Is it terminal? If it is, I'm so sorry ~

Eric Tastad said...

Did you see Adorama has the FA 31mm f/1.8 for only $965 US??? :)

Lloyd said...

Eric,

Check this:

http://www.cameralensrentals.com/sales/category.asp?catid=3

Lloyd

Cynthia Farr-Weinfeld said...

Oh crud! I already have it! And I KNOW you do, Lloyd! Cute post and thread! And all too accurately diagnosed. . . :-)

WhatKarenSees said...

Lloyd, this is so FUNNY, and gave me my morning laugh.

Would you consider letting me print this on my blog for a "Phun Phriday" post some time in the future, with you as the guest author/photographer and linking back to your blog?????

P.S. The last time I went in to Pictureline and asked to look at a lens, the salesman who usually helps me said, "Haven't you already got about every lens Canon makes???" Wow, I can now put a name to my addiction, and, of course, immediately go into denial!!!

WhatKarenSees said...

P.S. Oh Darn, I just went back and read the top line on this post and realized you reprinted this from DPReview. Guess I can't give you the bragging rights!